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Post by FierceLikeTiger on Mar 7, 2005 12:51:28 GMT -5
Some say that time heals all wounds. Does it really? If you ask me the answer is no. Time allows you to put the so-called “wound” in the back of your mind while you go on about you life. This allows the wound to grow fester into a raging burning monster that has been caged for far too long. This monster pulls at its restraints until, eventually, they shatter. What happens next is entirely up to you. You could, in theory force this raging beast of emotions back into its cage, reinforce the lock under which it is kept and forget about it until the next beastly tantrum when once again it breaks free and you have a decision to make. The other option is to allow this monster to come out and test its boundaries (which you put in place, but we’ll get to that a little harder). This choice offers two new scenarios. The first is definitely more pleasant and easier to deal with…therefore manageable. The second is a fierce whirlwind, though how long it lasts is different for everyone. For some the storm comes quickly, does its damage, and then takes its leave with the same rapidity with which it commenced. Others however are not so lucky. There are sentenced to living with their demon for as long as they are on this earth maybe longer. I think that we should start with “first things first,” so to speak. So let us explore the first scenario that I have set on the table in front of you, the one that is more peaceful, and generally happier all around. I am hoping that this will allow you at least a few moments of happiness before I plunge you into an abyss of total and utter insanity. Then again…who knows, insanity is a cause for celebration at times, at least for the insane. Those around them may not enjoy it half as much. However, I am straying from the point that I am working towards. As I do not plan to keep your attention any longer than is completely necessary for you to gain access into the tangled mass of thoughts that I generally like to call my brain, or at least until you have an insight as to what was going through my mind when….Wait! Once again I find myself straying from the task at hand. So now I shall seriously get down to business, provided of course, that I am not interrupted and that I can keep my train of thought. So, proceed we shall.
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Post by FierceLikeTiger on Mar 7, 2005 12:53:25 GMT -5
As I stated earlier, that first option is not all that destructive. Imagine, if you can, that there is something in your past that you have kept under control for x amount of years, completely erasing it from your conscious memory. Now imagine that something unexpected triggers that last flickering glimpse of the memory that you thought was gone forever. Well, not so my friend. You are now unprotected, as the barrier that you placed between yourself and the pain has fallen. Oh yes, the firewall you thought would protect you…gone, diminished, hasta la vista baby, sayonara, goodbye. Following me so far? Good, because now is the time when you must choose what course of action you are going to take. Are you going to submit to the monster? Or are you going to fight it? Well, for those of you that just professed their strengths in all situations, I’ll explain your fate later, as you have just killed your spirit, and have submitted to the worser of the two evils. Yes, submitted, the very thing you were fighting against in the first place. Total submission. You say it won’t happen to you? You are even worse off, because you will fight all the harder and as such, go down with more of a vengeance. Don’t believe me? Wait and see. As for those of you whom relinquish their pride from the get-go…you my dears are already on the road to salvation. Once you submit and allow those feelings that have welled up inside you to come spilling forth you can become a recluse, in a sense, for a few days. Yes, it will be painful, emotional emissions usually are, but while you are crying you will rid yourself of not only tears, but of all the pent up anger that the beast holds within. After all is said and done, all the beast had wanted was your attention, much like a child. The more you ignore a child the more upset they become. The more upset they become, the worse the inevitable tantrum will be. I suppose that you are thinking that the monster with which we are dealing is a childlike beast. Do not allow that thought to remain in your head for an instant longer than it already has! This is no creature to be taken lightly. The monster which we have been talking about is quite possibly the most dangerous and lethal known to mankind. In fact, I am sure that it is. It can destroy your soul. It will rip and tear you to pieces, my young, influential student. Never allow this beast to be unprotected, and never let it catch you unaware. Remember, this monster has already destroyed my life. All I am trying to do is keep it from doing the same to you. I have no ulterior motive, from where I sit right now the only useful thing that I can possibly do is warn you. Believe it or not, telling you this is rather therapeutic for me. And where have I led you off to now? Let me see. You must pardon me, I’m afraid. I have rather a lot to say, and yet my thoughts won’t stay in order. Instead they prefer to step out of the line that I have so carefully arranged them in; the one that leads from my head to my hand and on towards my fingertips, then trickles so slowly out of the pen clasped in my hand. Once out of line they all jumble together, pushing and shoving, reminisant of the New York stock exchange on any given day just before the closing bell. Instead of coming neatly one-by-one out the door to my mind, they crash forth three, four, five, six, or more at a time. But, if you promise to listen well, then I will do my best to keep them in order. The second scenario is the one that you need to look out for. Nobody is the same afterwards, nobody. No matter how tough and unchangeable you think you are…you will be different when the beast gets through with you. Those who choose this route find they don’t even know who they, themselves are. If you happen to take the trip down this lane you can forget having friends and family, for even if the rage lasts for only a short period…the effects can be devastating. The only thing that it can be truly likened to is an earthquake. Not your average 2.0 earthquake either. No, I am talking about an earthquake that can destroy civilizations. You see, you are messing with the big boys now. You might as well lock yourself up before someone else does it for you. Now, I bet you are curious as to which decisions I made. Well…I will tell you my story. It is rather interesting, I must say. Though not a soul has caught wind of the truth of it…until now. Why, you ask? Why you? Well, I have taken a liking to you. You are so unprepared for what you are about to read. That is quite all right, my friend, I did not expect an expert. An expert would not be as unmistakably curious and interested in what I have to say. But you…well; we both know that you are quite captivated. I am rather a good teacher, wouldn’t you say? Maybe I should have pursued that field. No matter. I did not get that chance. You see…I was going to be a psychology major before…well, let me start at the beginning.
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Post by FierceLikeTiger on Mar 7, 2005 12:54:21 GMT -5
I was handsome, gorgeous in fact. The true Adonis of the modern world. My physic was all but unequalled. On top of all that, I had a mind to match. I was unbelievably smart, a genius if you will. Women were incapable of resisting my advances. I was to women as catnip is to a young lively feline, irresistible. It had always been that way, and I suppose that I assumed that the illusion always would remain. After all, it was an illusion, I just never thought of it that way until these last few years. Then again, I’ve had quite a lot of time on my hands, thinking about and analyzing my past life is one way to fill that void. I was clearly superior and as such, had very few real friends. In fact, the males in my age group, no matter how young or how old I became always seemed to sneer at me. Jealousy is a nasty little creature you see. Never fall prey to it, my child, never. It will eat you for breakfast, without even bothering to chew before devouring you whole. For you to better understand life through my eyes I will start my narration at a fragile time for any young boy., the time when they are discovering who they are, what they like, and what they want to do with themselves…the summer before their freshman year of high school. Ask any man what he did that season before entering into the strange new world of multiple teachers and classrooms, choices and consequences…newness all around, and he will be able to tell you.
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Post by FierceLikeTiger on Mar 7, 2005 12:55:35 GMT -5
so, there it is.... let me know what ya think. Some people liked it, others hated it, it all kind of depends on your personality. Anyways, comments are always great.
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Post by SadistSecret on Mar 7, 2005 13:03:26 GMT -5
I love this...i wanna read more.
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Post by FierceLikeTiger on Mar 7, 2005 23:25:00 GMT -5
awww thanks ;D
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Post by SadistSecret on Mar 7, 2005 23:28:07 GMT -5
always welcome
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Post by FierceLikeTiger on Mar 9, 2005 14:56:29 GMT -5
The summer days were long, but they passed quickly. Eighth grade had ended just a week ago and I was contemplating what to do with myself. As I sat on the front porch of my two story house, two girls about my age walked past my wrought iron fence. I looked at them, but my mind did not clearly register them. The taller one stopped, bent down, and whispered something into the other’s ear, her shimmering golden hair catching and holding the rays of light from the sun as the strands swayed gently in the warm summer breeze. For just a moment my attention was focused on her. The soft yellow light cast warm shadows across her face as she spoke to her friend. Then, rupturing my visions, the two of them broke into peals of annoying loud and obnoxiously screechy giggles as only preteen girls can produce. They both glanced my way and tried to strike attractive poses while working overly hard not to seem as if they were staring. I looked down at the ground, contemplated a blade of grass, then rolled my eyes and sighed. They were still there, standing outside my gate, waiting for a sign of encouragement. Okay, I would give it to them, and then maybe they would be on their way and allow me to finish my tranquil thoughts. I rolled my eyes then looked up at them. There the two girls still stood. Neither one of them was particularly attractive nor I quickly decided that the only thing that had been enticing about little miss Goldilocks had been that particular sun beam that had illuminated her for that particular moment. Now they assumed awkward poses with their bony hips jutting to one side and their hands on their waists as they tried to flaunt their non-existent cleavage my way; they look pretty moronic. I flashed an award winning smile their way. Goldilocks almost fell over swooning and her companion turned at least seven shades of red before settling on a deep crimson tone. I had hopes that a sign of encouragement would send them fleeing. Wrong assumption. Goldilocks and the brown haired baby bear took it as an offer to start a conversation. The taller girl whispered something to the other girl who giggled, nodded, and walked to the gate. She had the audacity to open the latch and set her white tennis-shoe clad toes in my yard. “What does she think she is doing? That stupid, insolent, little girl!” my voice hissed, low and inaudible to their ears. The two girls quickly advanced towards my front stoop, each taking a giddy half skip towards me. No. Goldilocks and her crony were treading on thin ice. My lawn. My territory. Mine, and these intruders…. NO! That would not work; they just had to be taken care of. I smiled coyly, but these juvenile girls thought I was happy to see them. How ignorant. I was seething. No, what were they doing? Okay…. “Think” I told myself. Just think. A plan suddenly developed in my mind. Perfect. I quickly turned around to face my house. I grinned devilishly at the unseeing wall. The house would never tell. I turned back to face the pubescent females now standing two steps from my bare toes that rested on the pavement below me. I faked a joyful mood and spoke to them with a tone that said volumes about what a great pleasure it was to meet such beauties as they. In my best impersonation of a stupidly hormonal teenage boy I crooned, “Hi. You go to my school, don’t you?”<br>
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Post by FierceLikeTiger on Mar 9, 2005 14:58:50 GMT -5
Suzanna and Sue…how quaint. Of course the tall bossy one was Suzanna; it couldn’t have been any other way. Here before me stood two budding beauties, or at least in their mind they were the quintessential divas of their dreams. To me they appeared, well, annoyingly awkward. Suzanna was definitely more outgoing, but both were equally enthralled with me. While the taller, golden-maned adolescent looked at me in the face, Sue timidly stared at the ground as if suddenly her white sneakers had become the single most interesting things in the universe. Occasionally she glanced upwards, but seeing my clear blue eyes (which I am absolutely sure were glistening in that “bad-boy-up-to-something” way) were fixated on her mousy features, she quickly resumed her analyzation of her feet. At the time I was not quite sure why little Sue, timid child that she was, was so unimaginably intriguing to me. Now I realize that she was just the tool I needed. The tall one, of course would never do. True, she would be key, but she was by no means the masterpiece that I found in her companion. “Sue, why won’t you look at me?” I feigned false concern. “I won’t hurt you…” I said the words but was thinking of the deception that had just been set in motion. I studied the girl’s should length strands of non-descript, straight brown hair. There was nothing exceptional in this girl’s appearance. She was simply plain, and that was just perfect. I was amazed and excruciatingly happy that my spur-of-the-moment plot was setting itself up so perfectly. Perfect. My eyes wandered from the crown of her head down her forehead, to her downward tilted eyes and facial features. I quickly skirted my eyes down her neck and miniscule buds of breast tissue. My eyes were just passing over tiny Sue’s midriff when the other one spoke. “She’s shy.” Screeched the blonde one in her aggravating tone. I tore my eyes from the body of my perfect little treasure, amazingly perturbed with this imperfect creature. Somehow in the split second that I removed my sight from my jewel and fixated on the know-it-all child, I realized that to scream at her would never do, to show any sign of my hugely disgruntled attitude would have a negative effect, and I managed to grin at her though my eyes had transformed into cloudy steel blue daggers. “Oh. Well, maybe she’ll get comfortable enough to tell me that herself…eventually.” The uncomfortable silence lasted a few minutes. Uncomfortable for both girls. I was in my element. My darkened eyes remained fixated on Suzanna. She tried to hold my cold stare, but eventually the awkward, bashful, self-depreciating little girl in her took over, and she too contemplated her shoes. I smirked and decided not to torture them any longer, lest they should see through my well-orquestrated act, thought I knew it was impossible that they would. “Hey, would accompanying me to the ice cream parlor suit you girls?” As soon as I said it I knew the words “accompanying” and “suit,” along with the overall demeanor of the question has been risks at exposing my intellect. Both girls looked up at me with amused smiles. Goldilocks answered for the both of them. “Sure, but only if you’re paying.” I decided the girls were too enamored to realize how out of place my faux-pas was, though I remained slightly perturbed at myself. “Of course, I wouldn’t have it any other way.” I assured the foolish children.
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Post by SadistSecret on Mar 9, 2005 17:07:48 GMT -5
More More Please!
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Post by FierceLikeTiger on Mar 10, 2005 1:02:35 GMT -5
I called an “I’m leaving” through the screen door of my house, mostly for the girls’ sake. After all, I knew for a fact that not a single person was inside the home, if that’s what you want to call it. My mother would be home late that night, perhaps into the morning hours. She would stumble through the door to my bedroom with some odd trinket that she assumed would be more than enough to make me lover he again. She’d smile and bat her eyes at me as if to seal the deal. I always dreaded those looks. It was as if I was just another man to seduce, perhaps another paying customer. Of course she whole-heartedly believed that I did not, nor would ever come to the realization that half the men in the town knew her inside and out. As she stood there, night after night, at the foot of my wrought iron bed, I would look at her and wish that she had a different life. A split-second later I would curse myself for being such an imbecile and I would remember that she brought all the pain and suffering on herself. In any case the girls and I proceeded down the street towards Baskin-Robins and its thirty-one flavors. I walked on the outer edge of the sidewalk of course, as any young “gentleman” would do. My mind drifted to the scene which was about to unfold. I’d allow the girls to order first of course, coaxing little Sue to whisper the name of the flavor she wanted before Suzanna and I. She would undoubtedly ponder over various flavors before she pattered towards the counter and softly murmured that she would have a vanilla cone “please.” Naturally, Suzanna would step forward, lean over as if to flaunt her chest and entice the unsuspecting ice-cream boy behind the counter as she ordered some amazingly curious flavor such as “superman” or “ocean creatures with gummy fish,” almost certainly with a blue tint and foreign objects in it. Then I’d order something – it didn’t really matter what – before I plunked cash on the counter. There was no doubt in my mind that these terribly predictable creatures would do just what I had envisoned. So when we neared the parlor and walked throught the door I was by no means shocked when the golden-maned child ran over to the glass case ans started surveying the flacors. My treasure stood beside me, now seemingly entranced with the checkerboard floor instead of her shoes. She was so precious and I could feel the warmth from her skin radiating towards me. I suppressed the urge to take her in my arms and kiss her unsuspecting lips. No, of course not in a sexually intimate way, never that. What do you think I am? A monster? Well, I suppose that it is quite possible that you do. I can only imagine the emotions that have overtaken you at this point. Yes, of course, you are a sentimental and caring human being. Yes, I am quite sure that you think me a malicious tyrant. You want to erase me from existence, do you not? You cannot stand that I am from the same kingdom, phylum, family, genus, and species, can you? Well that is just fine with me, for I am not out to gain your approval. Only to enlighten you. However, do not let it slip your mind that we all have our own flaws and perhaps your dischord stems from the fact that you see some of your own in me. Though what you may see as flaws I most likely consider assets.
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Post by FierceLikeTiger on Mar 10, 2005 1:04:30 GMT -5
Well, that's all I have... I used to have a LOT more...as in MANY MANY pages more...however, my step-father destroyed them (as in paper shredder + garbage). Sooo...that's all folks....
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Post by SadistSecret on Mar 10, 2005 3:30:31 GMT -5
I love it and I think you should rewrite it here on the board...I would love to see more of this...
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Post by FierceLikeTiger on Mar 10, 2005 23:45:59 GMT -5
Meh, I think I lost the touch...I am pretty sure that that was the end for now
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Post by SadistSecret on Mar 11, 2005 0:45:10 GMT -5
Meh, I think I lost the touch...I am pretty sure that that was the end for now You don't know until you try...
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