Post by YourDarkestSecret on May 4, 2005 17:34:22 GMT -5
Yeah, this is a first love's of your life story kind of thing. I'll post other people that mean alot to me...
Jesse- 1988 - 2001
My first love. I never told him, and never got the chance. I dunno when or where or how I fell in love with him, but I did. He seemed to be the only one that was there for me most of the time, who accepted me for what I was. Even if I wasn't the prettiest, funniest or most popular. He liked me for me. He died the day before Christmas in 2001, leaving me a note in his coat pocket. I still have it.
"Mandy:
You don't have to say it, because I already know. I know you wanted to so many times, yet never could work up the courage, and frankly I don't blame you. I always have too many people around, and I didn't give you my number. Sorry you'd have to find out how I feel about you like this. It wasn't my intention. I hope it means something though, because I'm using my few last thoughts, breaths and energy to write this for you, because I won't die peacefully if I don't.
I've always had the greatest of feelings towards you, though I can't say it was right when I met you. At first you seemed like all the other's said you were: nerdy, bitchy at times, and extremely weird. Then, as I got to know you, I realized those people were so wrong about you. You weren't nerdy or bitchy at all, but you were always the odd ball. It's a good thing though. It keeps that beautiful smile on your face, and keeps you happy when you need it. You make people around you smile and want to be like you at times. I envy you. I honestly do.
You say you're not beautiful but you are in so many ways. Some are just unexplainable because it takes my breath away just thinking about it. I don't get how you can be the way that you are, but I hope you'll never lose that part about you. With words you can make someone smile, melt and at times shed tears. I wished so often I could do that.
I don't want you to cry for me. I just want you to smile. Besides, I'm sure I don't deserve anyone's tears. I haven't been sympathetic or caring at all to anyone really. The only person that I regret not being those things to is you. You can go on and deny it all you want, but I haven't, and I'm sorry.
I guess what I'm trying to say is that I love you, and I just wish I had more time to actually get to know you. Just to let you know, I can see us in the future. I'm sorry it had to end like this.
xoxox
Jesse"
Heh. If you were here right now, I would deny it, and you can make people melt and cry with just words. People loved you because you were you. I'm sorry too.
Jonah - 1989 - Present
What is there to say about him? He was wonderful, possibly the best first relationship that I had, even though it was long distance and we had never met. He was always there with a kind word and a hug, and more than often an "I love you, don't forget it." Even though depression got in my way, and I had to let him go because I didn't want to hurt him, I still love him to death. But I let him go, and there's nothing I can do.
Josh - 1988 - Present
Jesse was his cousin, and after Jesse died he was my main support. Little did I know he was so much like Jesse, besides being a blonde. Sure enough, as expected, we hooked up and had a steady relationship for about 2 - 4 monthes, before I caught him in bed with his ex. *shudders* Now I hate preps. However, I am still friends with him.
Go ahead and share yours. I've been wanting to get this out of my system for awhile now.
Jesse- 1988 - 2001
My first love. I never told him, and never got the chance. I dunno when or where or how I fell in love with him, but I did. He seemed to be the only one that was there for me most of the time, who accepted me for what I was. Even if I wasn't the prettiest, funniest or most popular. He liked me for me. He died the day before Christmas in 2001, leaving me a note in his coat pocket. I still have it.
"Mandy:
You don't have to say it, because I already know. I know you wanted to so many times, yet never could work up the courage, and frankly I don't blame you. I always have too many people around, and I didn't give you my number. Sorry you'd have to find out how I feel about you like this. It wasn't my intention. I hope it means something though, because I'm using my few last thoughts, breaths and energy to write this for you, because I won't die peacefully if I don't.
I've always had the greatest of feelings towards you, though I can't say it was right when I met you. At first you seemed like all the other's said you were: nerdy, bitchy at times, and extremely weird. Then, as I got to know you, I realized those people were so wrong about you. You weren't nerdy or bitchy at all, but you were always the odd ball. It's a good thing though. It keeps that beautiful smile on your face, and keeps you happy when you need it. You make people around you smile and want to be like you at times. I envy you. I honestly do.
You say you're not beautiful but you are in so many ways. Some are just unexplainable because it takes my breath away just thinking about it. I don't get how you can be the way that you are, but I hope you'll never lose that part about you. With words you can make someone smile, melt and at times shed tears. I wished so often I could do that.
I don't want you to cry for me. I just want you to smile. Besides, I'm sure I don't deserve anyone's tears. I haven't been sympathetic or caring at all to anyone really. The only person that I regret not being those things to is you. You can go on and deny it all you want, but I haven't, and I'm sorry.
I guess what I'm trying to say is that I love you, and I just wish I had more time to actually get to know you. Just to let you know, I can see us in the future. I'm sorry it had to end like this.
xoxox
Jesse"
Heh. If you were here right now, I would deny it, and you can make people melt and cry with just words. People loved you because you were you. I'm sorry too.
Jonah - 1989 - Present
What is there to say about him? He was wonderful, possibly the best first relationship that I had, even though it was long distance and we had never met. He was always there with a kind word and a hug, and more than often an "I love you, don't forget it." Even though depression got in my way, and I had to let him go because I didn't want to hurt him, I still love him to death. But I let him go, and there's nothing I can do.
Josh - 1988 - Present
Jesse was his cousin, and after Jesse died he was my main support. Little did I know he was so much like Jesse, besides being a blonde. Sure enough, as expected, we hooked up and had a steady relationship for about 2 - 4 monthes, before I caught him in bed with his ex. *shudders* Now I hate preps. However, I am still friends with him.
Go ahead and share yours. I've been wanting to get this out of my system for awhile now.