Post by SadistSecret on May 21, 2005 23:11:24 GMT -5
I saw this while I was surfing through google. I just couldn't pass up quality entertainment.
If Your Child is a Gothic, Reform Through the Lord!
Listed below are some warning signs to indicate if your
child may have gone astray from the Lord.
Gothic (or goth) is a very obscure and often dangerous culture that young teenagers are prone to participating in. The gothic culture leads young, susceptible minds into an imagined world of evil, darkness, and violence. Please seek immediate attention through counselling, prayer, and parental guidance to rid your child of Satan's temptations if five or more of the following are applicable to your child:
-Frequently wears black clothing.
Okay, I can't counterargue against this one, although I do believe that many a priest or nun wears black.
-Wears band and/or rock t-shirts.
Or this one. But I do know a few who don't own a single band shirt. Do the LHS band shirts count? It's a band, you know.
-Wears excessive black eye makeup, lipstick or nailpolish.
I know quite a few who don't do this one as well. Mostly the ones that don't need the whole deal to convey the message.
-Wears any odd, silver jewelry or symbols. Some of these include:
reversed crosses, pentagrams, pentacles, ankhs or various other
Satanic worshipping symbols.
Okay, the reverse cross and pentagram are Satanic, but the pentacle is wiccan and symbolizes the elements, and the ankh is Egyptian and symbolizes everlasting life.
-Shows an interest in piercings or tattoos.
[/i]So, every girl who's gotten an ear piercing is gothic, and so is everyone who's even considered getting a tattoo?[/i]
-Listens to gothic or any other anti-social genres of
music. (Marilyn Manson claims to be the anti-Christ, and publicly speaks
against the Lord. Please discard any such albums IMMEDIATELY.)
Oh my fucking god. Marilyn Manson is not fucking gothic, and true gothic music is not antiscocial.
-Associates with other people that dress, act or speak
eccentrically.
So, you church freaks aren't eccentric with your biblcal ramblings and strange white priest and nun costumes?
-Shows a declining interest in wholesome activities, such
as: the Bible, prayer, church or sports.
What exactly is a wholesome activity? Oh, and I love football, so what say you to that?
-Shows an increasing interest in death, vampires, magic,
the occult, witchcraft or anything else that involves Satan.
Isn't dying how your sould is released into Heaven, and isn't the "Lord's" power a form of magic? Religion is an occult study, and your priestly invoking of God is witchcraft.
-Takes drugs.
Bullshit. Complete and total bullshit. I will drop a fucking UA for you and it'll come out clean
-Drinks alcohol.
See above
-Is suicidal and/or depressed.
Most Goths aren't suicidal, and you say depressed like it's a bad thing not to be happy-go-lucky all the time.
-Cuts, burns or partakes in any other method of self-mutilation. (This is a Satanic ritual that uses pain to detract from the light of God and His love. Please seek immediate attention for this at your local mental health center.)
*sigh* Okay, you don't even understand the whole SI thing, do you? SI isn't a Satanic ritual. It's a coping method.
-Complains of boredom.
And you never are bored?
-Sleeps too excessively or too little.
Define the "normal" amount of sleep
-Is excessively awake during the night.
Is that bad? Maybe I like the stars.
-Dislikes sunlight or any other form of light. (This pertains to
vampires promoting the idea that His light is of no use.)
I don't like light because it hurts my eyes.
-Demands an unusual amount of privacy.
Once again, define the normal amount...
-Spends large amounts of time alone.
Is it wrong to want to be alone sometimes?
-Requests time alone and quietness. (This is so that your chid may speak to evil sprits through meditation.)
I like my alone quiet time. It's a place to calm and release my tension in a non-destructivemanner.
-Insists on spending time with friends while unaccompanied by an adult.
So, you've always had an adult with you? Never wanted to go out with your friends by yourself, huh?
-Disregards authority figures; teachers, priests, nuns and
elders are but a few examples of this.
We don't disregard them, we just don't enjoy the structure, and would like to live our own lives.
-Misbehaves at school.
And you never did? Ever?
-Misbehaves at home.
See above.
-Eats excessively or too little.
Once more, define the normal amount of eating.
-Eats goth-related foods. Count Chocula cereal is an example of this.
So, the 6 year old boy who has no knowledge of Goth whatsoever and wants Count Chocula cereal is potentially a Goth?
-Drinks blood or expresses an interest in drinking blood.
(Vampires believe this is how to attain Satan. This act is very dangerous and should be stopped immediately.)
If you ever tried it, you'd realize the calming effect it has one someone. I'm not trying to "attain Satan"
-Watches cable television or any other corrupted media
sources. (Ask your local church for proper programs that your child may watch.)
*laughs hysterically*
-Plays videos games that contains violence or role-playing nature.
Isn't any game some form of role playing?
-Uses the internet and frequently makes time for the computer.
So, how did you get this document online?
-Makes Satanic symbols and/or violently shakes head to music.
Something wrong with that?
-Dances to music in a provocative or sexual manner.
Oh, sure. people have been doing this since before recorded history. I'm sure the cave people were Gothic
-Expresses an interest in sex.
Do you have children? Do you want children? My point exactly.
-Masturbates
Wait, what was wrong with that again?
-Is homosexual and/or bisexual.
It's not a choice, its genetics. And I didn't know you could be Bi and Gay/Les at the same time.
-Pursues dangerous cult religions. Such include: Satanism, Scientology, Philosophy, Paganism, Wicca, Hinduism and Buddhism.
So your tithe-collecting "religion" isn't a Cult, too? Really? You don't say.
-Wears pins, stickers or anything else that contains these various phrases: "I'm so gothic, I'm dead", "woe is me", "I'm a goth".
Most Goths wouldn't do such a thing.
-Claims to be a goth.
See above statement
If five or more of these apply to your child, please intervene immediately. The gothic culture is dangerous and Satan thrives within it. If any of these problems persist, enlist your child into your local mental health center.
~St. Mary's Catholic Church
Wow, what a load of bullshit. Where do they come up with this?
If Your Child is a Gothic, Reform Through the Lord!
Listed below are some warning signs to indicate if your
child may have gone astray from the Lord.
Gothic (or goth) is a very obscure and often dangerous culture that young teenagers are prone to participating in. The gothic culture leads young, susceptible minds into an imagined world of evil, darkness, and violence. Please seek immediate attention through counselling, prayer, and parental guidance to rid your child of Satan's temptations if five or more of the following are applicable to your child:
-Frequently wears black clothing.
Okay, I can't counterargue against this one, although I do believe that many a priest or nun wears black.
-Wears band and/or rock t-shirts.
Or this one. But I do know a few who don't own a single band shirt. Do the LHS band shirts count? It's a band, you know.
-Wears excessive black eye makeup, lipstick or nailpolish.
I know quite a few who don't do this one as well. Mostly the ones that don't need the whole deal to convey the message.
-Wears any odd, silver jewelry or symbols. Some of these include:
reversed crosses, pentagrams, pentacles, ankhs or various other
Satanic worshipping symbols.
Okay, the reverse cross and pentagram are Satanic, but the pentacle is wiccan and symbolizes the elements, and the ankh is Egyptian and symbolizes everlasting life.
-Shows an interest in piercings or tattoos.
[/i]So, every girl who's gotten an ear piercing is gothic, and so is everyone who's even considered getting a tattoo?[/i]
-Listens to gothic or any other anti-social genres of
music. (Marilyn Manson claims to be the anti-Christ, and publicly speaks
against the Lord. Please discard any such albums IMMEDIATELY.)
Oh my fucking god. Marilyn Manson is not fucking gothic, and true gothic music is not antiscocial.
-Associates with other people that dress, act or speak
eccentrically.
So, you church freaks aren't eccentric with your biblcal ramblings and strange white priest and nun costumes?
-Shows a declining interest in wholesome activities, such
as: the Bible, prayer, church or sports.
What exactly is a wholesome activity? Oh, and I love football, so what say you to that?
-Shows an increasing interest in death, vampires, magic,
the occult, witchcraft or anything else that involves Satan.
Isn't dying how your sould is released into Heaven, and isn't the "Lord's" power a form of magic? Religion is an occult study, and your priestly invoking of God is witchcraft.
-Takes drugs.
Bullshit. Complete and total bullshit. I will drop a fucking UA for you and it'll come out clean
-Drinks alcohol.
See above
-Is suicidal and/or depressed.
Most Goths aren't suicidal, and you say depressed like it's a bad thing not to be happy-go-lucky all the time.
-Cuts, burns or partakes in any other method of self-mutilation. (This is a Satanic ritual that uses pain to detract from the light of God and His love. Please seek immediate attention for this at your local mental health center.)
*sigh* Okay, you don't even understand the whole SI thing, do you? SI isn't a Satanic ritual. It's a coping method.
-Complains of boredom.
And you never are bored?
-Sleeps too excessively or too little.
Define the "normal" amount of sleep
-Is excessively awake during the night.
Is that bad? Maybe I like the stars.
-Dislikes sunlight or any other form of light. (This pertains to
vampires promoting the idea that His light is of no use.)
I don't like light because it hurts my eyes.
-Demands an unusual amount of privacy.
Once again, define the normal amount...
-Spends large amounts of time alone.
Is it wrong to want to be alone sometimes?
-Requests time alone and quietness. (This is so that your chid may speak to evil sprits through meditation.)
I like my alone quiet time. It's a place to calm and release my tension in a non-destructivemanner.
-Insists on spending time with friends while unaccompanied by an adult.
So, you've always had an adult with you? Never wanted to go out with your friends by yourself, huh?
-Disregards authority figures; teachers, priests, nuns and
elders are but a few examples of this.
We don't disregard them, we just don't enjoy the structure, and would like to live our own lives.
-Misbehaves at school.
And you never did? Ever?
-Misbehaves at home.
See above.
-Eats excessively or too little.
Once more, define the normal amount of eating.
-Eats goth-related foods. Count Chocula cereal is an example of this.
So, the 6 year old boy who has no knowledge of Goth whatsoever and wants Count Chocula cereal is potentially a Goth?
-Drinks blood or expresses an interest in drinking blood.
(Vampires believe this is how to attain Satan. This act is very dangerous and should be stopped immediately.)
If you ever tried it, you'd realize the calming effect it has one someone. I'm not trying to "attain Satan"
-Watches cable television or any other corrupted media
sources. (Ask your local church for proper programs that your child may watch.)
*laughs hysterically*
-Plays videos games that contains violence or role-playing nature.
Isn't any game some form of role playing?
-Uses the internet and frequently makes time for the computer.
So, how did you get this document online?
-Makes Satanic symbols and/or violently shakes head to music.
Something wrong with that?
-Dances to music in a provocative or sexual manner.
Oh, sure. people have been doing this since before recorded history. I'm sure the cave people were Gothic
-Expresses an interest in sex.
Do you have children? Do you want children? My point exactly.
-Masturbates
Wait, what was wrong with that again?
-Is homosexual and/or bisexual.
It's not a choice, its genetics. And I didn't know you could be Bi and Gay/Les at the same time.
-Pursues dangerous cult religions. Such include: Satanism, Scientology, Philosophy, Paganism, Wicca, Hinduism and Buddhism.
So your tithe-collecting "religion" isn't a Cult, too? Really? You don't say.
-Wears pins, stickers or anything else that contains these various phrases: "I'm so gothic, I'm dead", "woe is me", "I'm a goth".
Most Goths wouldn't do such a thing.
-Claims to be a goth.
See above statement
If five or more of these apply to your child, please intervene immediately. The gothic culture is dangerous and Satan thrives within it. If any of these problems persist, enlist your child into your local mental health center.
~St. Mary's Catholic Church
Wow, what a load of bullshit. Where do they come up with this?
I don't deserve anything.