Angelic Heart

[YourDarkestSecret]

I laid back on my bed, my arms above my head, my beanie forced to move just a tad bit, displaying some of my brown hair. My hazel eyes darted over to the window, to see simply the blue sky. There was not a cloud in sight, and this relaxed me. I was under alot of tension. There was so many things I wanted to tell the world, yet I couldn't. About who I really am, or should I say what I am. Even if I did tell the world what I am, and showed them my white feathery wings amongst the moonlight, they would be afraid and cower, call me a freak. I can't bear it. The pain I must endure once the moon is out. The heavy mass of clumped and arranged feathers they call wings. Who said being an angel was a blessing? In my case, it was a painful nightmare. The dirtiest secret I could ever keep from someone, and the only way I could keep it a secret from my mother was close my blinds at night and sleep with a light on. Even then I never got much sleep. Ever since I had been 'chosen' my marks had been dropping drastically, I began to avoid my friends and even turn my back on them, in fear that I might say too much. My wings, oh how I loathe their beauty and the pain they cause. They slice their way out of my back, leaving cuts that bleed constantly down my back. I often sat in my room, half naked with a wet towel, crying and dabbing the blood off the wounds delicately and hoping to god that they wouldn't leave scars that I would later have to explain. I didn't want this! Why was I the one to be 'chosen'?

I closed my eyes to try and forget the past memories. My head was spinning from all the questions I would have to ask to a simple voice in my head that was there to supposedly 'guide' me. A voice that could easily teleport out of my mind and turn into a figure with blonde hair. Of course, it had to be a male and he had to be good looking to. Not only did I have to keep my wings and angelicness a secret, but now I had to restrain myself from simply jumping on him and then doing some of the most naughty things to him. It was hard. With those midnight blue eyes, the platinum blonde hair with caramel streaks, the baby face. I can't forget to mention the black hoodie with silver fake spikes on the hood, and black and silver baggy pants, his dagger in his right pocket. I absolutely loved how his bangs somehow just covered his left eye, and how he'd always peer at me with this soft, gentle gaze, yet have a rugged, cold exterior. At the present time he didn't seem to be in the mood to show himself, or really care what I was feeling. Often he'd be talking rapidly most of the day, causing me to have a splitting headache. It was almost annoying, but once he came out it was hard not to like him.

I continued to lay in my bed, looking up at the ceiling, occassionally glancing to the window, as though I was expecting something to come through it at any moment. I guess 'he' felt it was the most appropiate time to come out. Like so many times before he gave no warning, and I suddenly felt the pain of a soul being torn from a body, and it forced my eyes shut. I had learned not to scream, because it might have reverted the 'wrong attention' to me. I had asked many times what this meant, and still never got an answer.

'He' took his human form, and like the endless amount of times before, he was facing me, looking at me with is one exposed blue eye softly, as though he adored me in some way. He opened his mouth to say something, ruby lips lifting slowly. Only a small squeak came out before he sighed, closing his mouth again. He then looked at the window, staring at the oak tree he often sat on.

"What?" I asked, rather quietly, the pain from him revealing himself still warm in my numbing body.

He simply looked at me, a sad expression on his face, before turning his head back to the window without a word. I figured he was simply thinking about something.

"What are you thinking about? Obviously you want to say something." I asked, sitting up and scratching my right leg.

He then slowly turned his head to me and sighed.

"I do want to say something, but I don't know what to say. I wish I could answer all of your questions, but unfortunately I don't have the answers." he replied before walking over to the bed, and simply sitting next to me, leaning back so his head and shoulders were against the wall. His shirt lifted slightly, to reveal some skin just around his pantline. I glanced downward at it, and it sent a chill up my spine. I had him right there, right now, at my will, but why wasn't I doing anything? I wasn't sure if I was angry at him, or simply wasn't doing anything because he was my 'guardian'. Like screwing your guardian was some kind of 'sin'. He looked my age, about 16. It wasn't like he was some 60 year old pervert.

I sighed, a bit unhappily, looking away from him so I didn't get the urge to just screw his fucking brains out.

"I wouldn't have asked you for answers anyway, probably." I responded, still quiet.

Suddenly, I felt his warm hands amongst my chin, and they were pulling my chin around so I would look at him. His touch was soothing, causing myself to lose a bit of control, allowing him to have his way. Our eyes met, yet none of us moved in closer, or farther apart. A small, hopefully unnoticeable blush came amongst my cheeks as I stared at him, straight in his eyes.

"If things could be different, believe me, I would change them. I wouldn't want you to go through such pain. Alas, however, it is 'his' will, not mine."

Okay basically just to summarize this, this is taken in first person. Yes, that person is supposed to be me, but it's completely fiction. Basically this girl likes her guardian, and wants to get 'freaky' with him ( that will be later). She's an angel, or was chosen to be one. Basically she died and came back as a human during the day and an angel at night. I will add more later. If you have any comments please message me instead of posting them here.

[YourDarkestSecret]

[glow=red,2,300](Continued...)[/glow]

I continued blushing as he spoke rather softly, his eyes holding just a whisp of seriousness within them, well masked by sincerity. I sighed and then turned my head away from him.

"I don't think it'll ever change. I'll have to be like this for the rest of my life." I replied, sticking out my bottom lip in a fake pout sort of fashion.

"It may seem like it right now, but believe me. Once you get used to the wings coming out, and your wounds heal, it won't hurt as much. You'll grow used to it by then."

He had now rested his hand on my shoulder, gently stroking it with his palm, probably trying to soothe me for some reason. It wasn't like I was just going to suddenly burst into tears. I was tougher on the inside then I was on the outside. To be rather blunt, I was a wuss on the outside, standing a shrimpy five - foot - four. All my friends, including my best friend Jared, were taller than me. For me it was rather embarrassing , but it seemed for everyone else it was a pleasure. Often people, including my friends, mocked and tormented me about my height. I suprised 'he' was different. 'He' told me it was rather cute how short I was, and that cute was tough, and that my height was nothing to be ashamed of. I guess he was right in some ways, but the torturing, mocking and tormenting was beginning to irritate me beyond belief.

As I sat there, his hand still upon my shoulder, stroking it gently, I looked out the window. The sun was setting fast, and an hour had passed us by. I turned to my radio alarm clock, the flashing numbers "5:15" upon it's display. That had answered my question rather quickly; it was time for supper. I stood up and headed to my door. I turned back to make sure 'he' wasn't following, and I found him lying on the bed, his shirt displaying even more of his chest. I stared at the bare skin for a couple of moments, my jaw slowly dropping, but I quickly closed it. My mouth had instantly began to water, and I didn't want to stand there, staring at him and drooling like an idiotic beast feasting it's eyes upon it's prey-to-be. Worse enough, he had spread his legs a bit wider, and I couldn't help but stare at his crotch area. It was like he knew somehow that I was staring at him in all the wrong - or maybe right- places, and was purposely teasing me. I looked up at him, and his eyes were closed. After longer than moments silence, he slowly opened one eye and peered at me, a slow, steady grin creasing his face.

"Well, are you just going to stand there? Or do I have to push you to supper?"

I looked at me feet and then turned the doorknob. As soon as the door was open enough for me to step through, I quickly went into the hallway, clicking the door behind me. I rested the back of my head on the door, sighing heavily. 'He' was everything I had been searching for my whole entire life. Good looking, sincere, sympathetic and honest. My knees went weak just thinking about him.

[YourDarkestSecret]

[glow=red,2,300]Continued...[/glow]

My attention from my thoughs was reverted to the sound of my mother's voice, calling me for dinner, soon followed by a doorbell.

"Can you get that? I'm straining the spaghetti!" my mother called out.

"Sure!" I called back. It was probably for me anyway.

I quickly darted down the stairs, my feet making the stairs creak as I did. My hair was blown to the side, and it made me realize that I had left my beanie upstairs. I ran past my mom, who gave me a confused look, obviously because I wasn't wearing my beanie. I wore it all the time. As soon as I was at the door, I fixed my hair and then reached for the doorknob. I turned it so the door opened and peered out the crack. There was my friend and brother-like influence, Andrew. He knew very well what I was, and about my so called secrets, and he knew very well of 'him', my so called guardian spirit.

He had his back turned and was tossing a basketball into the air and catching it, while staring at the two girls across the road, a blone and a red head. He then sighed and turned back to the door and saw me. He smiled and then stepped closer to the door.

"Oh! Hey! Want to come shoot hoops?" he asked.

I looked back at my mom who was busy mixing in the spaghetti sauce with the spaghetti and I sighed.

"I'm having supper right now, plus 'you know who' is upstairs." I rolled my eyes.

"Bring him with you, and come after you're done supper." he replied, obviously wanting me to come along.

"But then people will start asking questions!" I said, scolding him sort of. He knew very well I didn't want 'him' around other people, especially my friends.

"Oh, will you relax? There is going to be nobody but the three of us there, and if someone happens to come and join us he can easily vanish, right?" he responded, tilting his head to one side.

I rolled my eyes and sighed, resting my head against the frame of the door.

"Pl-ease?" he whined, and gave me his puppy eyes. When he did that he really did look like a puppy, because of his messy, shaggy hair and big brown eyes. This I couldn't resist. I would go for anything once he gave me that look, and he knew it. He had always used it to his advantage only.

I reached my arm out and turned my hand into a fist, giving him a sharp punch in the shoulder. He gave a playful, girlish fake yelp and then started to laugh.

"Fine, I'll come. I'll meet you at the hoops at the school in about a half hour."

He smiled and then ran off the steps, in the direction of the hoops. Basically it was about a block away from me, depending if you took a left or a right from my house. If you took a left it was no longer than 5 minutes. If you took a right, it would be about 15 -20 minutes depending on how fast you walked. I often took the right, because then I would pass by the 7- Eleven and get a slurpee. I would do that again this time, because my 'guardian' seemed to love the Grape Crush Slurpees, as well as a few toquitoes. He kept talking about how he never had such things back in 'his time'. In some ways he reminded me of my grandfather, and in others of Jared. It seemed 'he' had a few traits of everyone I knew embedded within him, like he was some jigsaw puzzle made up with one different personality trait of everyone I was acquainted with.

I closed the door, smiling as I watched him run, and then went into the kitchen. By the time I sat down, my mom was already filling my plate with spaghetti. She smiled at me.

"That Andrew really likes you." she said, giggling a little.

I looked up at her while twirling my fork in the spaghetti, reaching for my spoon with my free hand.

"Yeah, I know. After all, I am his best friend." I replied, as if this was no mystery to me and somehow the topic of Andrew had become stupid.

My mother grinned and then shook her head with a small laugh in her voice. She then filled her plate with spaghetti.

"That's not what I meant, hun." She said and then looked at me, still filling her plate with spaghetti.

I looked at her, giving her a look telling her that she was crazy.

"Okay, now that's just scary. I've known Andrew since I was in grade two, mom! If I went out with him or was interested in him, that would be just weird!" I said, and then shoved the fork full of spaghetti into my mouth, chewing as fast as I can.

My mom was now filling up my glass with milk, and I had wished it would rather be the Pepsi in the fridge, but I didn't feel like arguing with her. I was too busy eating and paying attention to the time.

"And why would it be weird?" she asked, obviously not clueing in.

I slammed my fork down, the handle clinking against my plate rather loudly and my mom flinched. I finished chewing and then swallowed. I had put too much spaghetti on the fork and had chewed too fast, so it was rather hard to swallow.

"Sorry," I apologized first for the fork, because we were using my mom's most favorite china. " It would be weird because Andrew and I know each other too well." I then continued to shovel food into my mouth, little by little, trying not to put as much on my fork this time.

"Well wouldn't that be a good way to start a relationship, if you knew one another really well?" my mom asked, raising an eyebrow at me.

She was right by this. You couldn't really start a relationship and no know the person too well, or trust them. I sighed.

"I guess you're right. Anyway, I'll finish eating. He told me to come shoot hoops with him and I told him I'd be there in about a half hour. Is this okay, or did you want me to do something yet?" I looked at her, waiting for her answer.

My mom sat down and then began to twirl her fork in her spaghetti. There was an empty plate left for my dad, who was obviously working late again. He was usually home by five, but it was presently six thirty.

"That's fine. Just as long as you're home before nine."

[glow=red,2,300] 1 hour later.... [/glow]

Andrew tossed the ball to me and I quickly caught it skillfully, and then aimed for the hoop. My feet were planting shoulder width apart, and my knees were bent slightly, getting enough power to get the ball to the hoop. Andrew and 'him' were standing behind me now, watching and waiting patiently to see if I'd get this 2 pointer. If I did get it in, I'd have 21, and I would win the game.

"You know, for a guy who didn't have basket ball 'way back when', you shoot pretty good!" Andrew complimented my 'guardian'.

"Meh. I always had good aim.' 'he' replied, in a show off tone of voice.

I sneered and then lifted my legs of the ground, tossing the ball forwards. We all watched in suspense, to see if it would get in. It hit the backboard and then fell onto the rim, rolling around the rim a couple of times before bouncing off.

"Dammit!!" I shrieked. "That should have gone in!!"

'He' laughed and then ran over to catch the ball. Once he had caught it, he was walking towards me, dribbling the ball slowly. He grinned at me and then stood next to me.

"I'll let you stand here, and watch me win the game." 'he' said, obviously trying to spite me. I sneered again, and then crossed my arms.

"Yeah, like you'll get it in." I said, pretty sure of myself.

'He' tossed the ball the same way as he did the many times before, and like he said the ball went in and he had won the game. He then looked to me and grinned.

"You were saying?" he said and then patted my shoulder. "Don't worry, you'll win next time."

Andrew then laughed and came up to me, putting his arm across my shoulder.

"Ah, don't listen to him. You got some pretty good shots in and you beat me! You should be proud of yourself." He then patted my back and removed his arm from my shoulder. I sighed, figured Andrew was right and then bent over to tie my shoe.

[YourDarkestSecret]

[glow=red,2,300]Continued... [/glow]

As I was tying my shoe, I noticed someone's shadow lingering over me. I looked up briefly and saw 'him', looking down on me softly as he had always seemed to. I sighed and then continued tying my shoe.

"Something is going to happen. Something bad." 'he' said, a little bit over a whisper.

I finished tying my shoe and stood up, facing him completely. I again crossed my arms and then sighed, shaking my head slowly at him. When I stopped shaking my head, I noticed he had his head down, and he was staring at me, occasionally looking me up and down, with a sort of scary, yet seductive grin on his face. I looked at him, rather confused and wide-eyed. This look was really creeping me out, yet causing me to get all numb at the same time.

"What? What are you looking at?" I asked rather firmly.

He simply closed his eyes and chuckled, lowering his head even more so his hair was shadowing his face. He then looked up at me, his expression now soft. It was like he head dual personalities contained into one body.
I gave up. I knew at this point I wasn't going to get an answer.

"Well, whatever. Let things happen as fate plans it." I responded, walking past him. As I did, he grabbed my arm and yanked me back, so I was standing in front of him again. This time he was a bit angry, or irritated. One of the two.

"Listen, you can't always rely on fate. Sometimes fate plays out the way you don't want it to, and then you have to pick up the remaining bits and pieces of your shattered life and start all over again." he said to me, his voice raised indicating his impatience with me. I simply yanked my arm away, and continued walking, a bit ticked off at his showing off earlier.

Andrew watched us and then turned his head away from us. I walked past Andrew and then looked back at him.

"Did you guys want a slurpee?" I asked.

Andrew nodded, and I was suprised 'he' didn't say anything. In fact, he was staring at the horizon, the sunset showing off his elegant features. His back was turned, and it seemed he was hiding something, and that the sunset seemed to remind him. I didn't want to ask questions, because I didn't exactly feel like it.

I looked back at Andrew and then looped my arm in his.

"Let's go and get a slurpee." I said, glancing back at 'him' once more. Andrew did the same, following my gaze before turning his head back to me, a worried expression on his face.

"But, what about him?" he asked, obviously feeling guilty about leaving him behind.

"If he's not at home by the time we get back I'll bring him the slurpee here. I'm not going to get us one without getting him one."

[glow=red,2,300] 20 - 30 minutes later[/glow]

I walked in through the front door, two slurpees in my hand: a grape and a pepsi watermelon twist. I quickly darted into the kitchen and looked around for my mom. I soon spotted her in the living room, asleep in the reclining chair. I smiled at her softly, and then looked around once more for 'him'. I soon heard footsteps behind me, and thinking it was my dad I turned around. I didn't have to look for 'him' no more, as he was standing there, his head sort of tilted to one side as he looked at me, his eyes and face holding no expression whatsoever.

[YourDarkestSecret]

[glow=red,2,300]Continued...[/glow]

I looked at him, quite oddly, setting the slurpees down on the table gently. I had never seen him with that kind of a look on his face, especially so blank. For some reason it scared me. I was like on all those action movies before someone fell to their knees and then died, how their face was so expressionless, their eyes so glazed over. He looked like that at this moment, like his eyes were going to scroll to the back of his head at any minute now, and he was going to fall to the floor in a mass of limp lifeless body. Dead.

Instead he just continued to stand there, looking at me with that blank expression before sitting down on the chair he had pulled out, taking his slurpee. Somehow he knew which was his, and I watched as he sipped it slowly and then closed his eyes.

[YourDarkestSecret]

[glow=red,2,300]Continued and people I want you to fecking comment!! Gees!!... in exception for James. He likes it. Lol [/glow]

I continued to watch him, and soon his eyes opened again and he looked at me, quite confused.

"What?" he asked, obviously not realizing that he was acting odd in my eyes.

"You're acting weird. Is something wrong?" I replied, sitting down across from him and grabbing my slurpee as well. I took a long sip and then let the substance of pepsi and watermelon swirl in my mouth, letting my tastebuds and palette have an overall taste.

"I told you. Something bad is going to happen. I can feel it!" he then commented.

I rolled my eyes, thinking one of his ' I can feel this', ' I can feel that' lectures were to follow, but instead he continued sipping on his slurpee. I decided to press the issue, perhaps figure out what he was feeling.

"What do you feel, exactly?" I asked, putting all emphasis on 'exactly'. He sighed and then rested his head on the table.

"Tension. Growing tension. It's soon going to get out of control." he replied, rather quietly.

I rolled my eyes again and then stood up and walked into the living room. I sat on the couch, and peered out the window, to see if my dad had come home yet. It wasn't long before a SUV pulled up, a rather unfamiliar one. I raised an eyebrow as my dad came out of the SUV, followed by a woman who was apparently the owner of the SUV. My dad's tie was kind of crooked, his hair was rather messy, and I had figured he had a hard time at work. The woman was a red head, with long curly hair, wearing what looked like an outfit you'd wear at an office. It was a pressed grey skirt with a crisp white blouse, a grey sash hanging from her neck like some sort of tie or something.

I never took my dad for a cheater, so I was frantic when he rested his hands on the woman's waist, and they kissed. The kiss was sickening. Both of their mouths were open wide, their tongues massaging against one another's, and my dad suddnely had her pressed against the car door, his hand reaching up her leg and hiking up her skirt, before his hand disappeared into it.

I closed my eyes and looked away, suddenly feeling like I was going to be sick. I was angry, confused and hurt. My eyes suddenly began to swell with tears at the thought of him 'working late'. I set down my slurpee rather hard on the coffee table.

'He' had already found his way up to the window and was watching them, as though he enjoyed this. He had a serious and angry expression on his face, like he was about to kill something. He then tisked and shook his head, standing back from the window. I could feel his eyes wander to me as tears began to stream down face, soon followed by a heavy sob. He rested his hand on my back, and rubbed it gently.

"It's not your fault, Ange. He's being an asshole, is all. Just try not to think about it." he spoke in a soft tone, trying to soothe me. I only burst out into more tears, and this caused him to pull me towards him, embracing and holding me, allowing me to sob into his shoulder. I could feel his body shaking, an occasional growl coming from his lips.

Soon the door slammed shut and my dad stood there, tossing his briefcase to the ground. 'He' stood up, and I looked towards my dad, my eyes growing to slits. I noticed 'his' hand going to his dagger in his left pocket, and he was glaring at my father, his body shaking. I now knew it was out of anger, and it was frightening me. I never knew he had a violent tendancy.

My father reverted his attention to me, and briefly gazed at 'him'.

"Where's your mother?" he asked.

I said nothing in reply, and just kept glaring at him. At that precise moment all the anger from the memories of his obviously false love for his family had built up inside of me, and I began to shake, grabbing my mom's vase that was on the coffee table. 'He' just continued staring.

"You fucking bastard." 'he' said. "I hope you're proud of yourself, you fucking pinhead!"

My father's expression became angry and he looked at me, with enough glare in his eyes.

"Where is your goddamn mother?! And who the hell is this guy?! Your new boyfriend!" he yelled.

'He' now growled, his teeth baring as he grabbed his dagger more firmly. I noticed that his eyes flickered red.

"No," I replied. "but I see you got yourself a new wife!!!"

I stood up and threw the vase at my dad, but it missed and hit the wall instead.

[YourDarkestSecret]

[glow=red,2,300]Continued...and still no comments... [/glow]

My father simply looked at the shattered vase, and then returned his attention towards me, his eyes flashing me a look of sheer anger. I felt myself cower, despite my anger.

My mother came bounding in from the living room, and then looked at the vase, and then glanced between my dad and I repeatedly, with a look asking what was going on. I stood there, glaring at my father again, waiting for him to say something. Instead he stood there, not saying one word, and then looked back to 'him'.



[glow=purple,2,300]Sorry....writers block... [/glow]

[YourDarkestSecret]

[glow=purple,2,300]Sorry for the wait guys..[/glow]

'He' glared back as well, making sure I was behind him, like he was protecting me from something. My father did have a violent tendancy, and I'm not sure if he knew that or was simply guessing.

My mother then cleared her throat and looked at us all, trying to force a smile.

"Honey? Angelique? What's going on?"

I was suprised she didn't ask about 'him', because my mom had never seen him before, let alone met him. My father's face became scared, almost frightened by the very question. Or was it the answer he'd have to give her that he was afraid of?

"Oh nothing dear. The vase just tipped over that's all."

I guess it was better to lie, and pretend everything was okay rather then tell her the truth, and save us all a little trouble. Fortunately, my mom was smarter than that, and sort of dug deeper.

"But, I thought I heard screaming, and then the vase hitting the wall." she said, glancing over at the broken glass. "It didn't tip over, because how would it have gotten over there?"

She then looked at my dad, who gulped and then she glanced over to me.

"Is there something I should know?"

I couldn't hold it in any longer, and I don't thank anyone was expecting me to keep it a secret.

"He's having an affair! I saw him, making out with this red head in a skirt against her car!"

My father looked at me, and then put a serious, yet fake expression on his face.

"You little liar! That isn't true! I walked in on these two getting it on!"

'His' jaw dropped, as well as mine.

"I may be her guardian, but I can reassure you that I have no such feelings, or urges to do such of a thing! Let alone in the living room! Why don't you just face the facts and admit that you are cheating!" 'he' said, most likely in both our defenses.

[glow=red,2,300]That's all I can get for now. [/glow]